Where is the Love?

No different than most everyone else, I was home checking my Facebook newsfeed; catching up with what my friends, not "friends" (I'm sure we've had genuine friendships before friend became a buzzword) had going on in their lives.  I scrolled through, reading and commenting on some of the posts that I found.  I also watched some video from some of my "liked" items.  I happened upon a post for an upcoming counter - protest of a local church protest that is taking place later this week.  It appears the initial protest is by a church that is protesting a high school where many of the students have identified themselves as homosexuals.  My friend posted this on her page for the friend who is posting his planned attendance at the counter - protest.  From the exclamatory decrees, on my newsfeed,  to boot the church from the county where it rests, I can tell this has got a lot of people hot.  I can only imagine the things being said and written that aren't on my page.  This is hot stuff that will make headline on the local news where it is taking place.  There will be an equal number of people on both sides of the lines.  And I am sure there will be a police presence as well. To be honest, it is an issue that I think about often from time to time.  I am attempting to be a follower of Jesus, but I haven't been very good at it.  I see that it is a way that makes sense for me to follow so I will continue to try.  I tend to think, because of the tremendous friendship and kindness I've experienced from gay men and women, I am neutralized by getting into this.  I've seen the love of Christ exemplified in some   gay and lesbian persons more than I've seen in many hetero Christian people. I had the the honor and privilege to attend a concert by the band Jars of Clay in a local music club, some years ago.  Dan Haseltine, lead vocalist, was speaking with the audience and sharing how it troubled him to read in a survey that only 3% of Christians would offer aid to the millions, in Africa, dying from the AIDS pandemic.  It was surprising to find how many fundamentalist Christians viewed this as a judgement of God.  And this was a guy calling out his home team, since the band holds the label of a Christian rock band. So, what's the point?  Here's how I see the church is not helping itself and dropping the ball.  Church attendance is declining more and more in America.  Do you think making the news, getting free press prior to Easter Sunday, for railing against a high school is going to inspire a growing membership? 'What church are you attending?' 'Oh, we attend ......'  'Isn't that the church that was in the news for protesting...?'  Many of the Christian people that I know live well and work very hard to not be seen as a two-dimensional portrayal in a bad movie.  The church's tactic is all wrong.  If  the assumption is correct, the execution has nothing to do with God.  In fact, for the Man upstairs, this is the equivalent of one step forward, two steps back.  How does waging war against teenage boys and girls have anything to do with their salvation?  Most teenagers are struggling with coming into their own; thinking about the future, not thinking about the future, fighting with mom and dad, screaming on the inside to find out who they are.  I'm sure it's a scary time for them.  And how small is this  church's God to where they can't meet together and pray for these kids?  Where they can't visit the school through some collaborative county / faith - based community initiative?  I was reading a book where a church was praying for God to destroy a bar in the community.  Something like a storm or fire occurred and the bar was gone.  The owner got word that the church was meeting to pray for something to happen to this bar and he sued the church.  When the pastor went to court, he admitted that the church did pray for something to happen but never really believed that it would.  Is the faith so little that the church does not believe that praying for these kids, in adolescence, will work?  Are headlines more important than getting to love these kids the way God loves them? One of the most beautiful things that I have read was a quote from St Francis of Assisi that goes "Preach the Gospel at all times and if necessary...use words".  The church would do far better to bring coffee and donuts a day or week to this school. Does God care?  You bet.  Is he too small?  Is your perception or understanding of who and what he is too limited?  God loves these kids.  It's the church's job to learn what these kids' love language is.  And we know lovin' ain't always easy.

Sometimes, There's Just Nothing to Say

I've been agonizing over what I would write about for my newest blog.  Nothing has really come to mind and that was really getting to me.  After all, I'm committing to be a writer and let people know that I have a blog that they can read.  And then something occurred to me, and wasn't anxious anymore.  Sometimes, there's nothing to say.

It is officially spring, but the chill in the air lets one know the weather hasn't turned; it informs us that we are in the wake of winter.  Winter is a maddening time for a lot of people.  The air is brutally cold,  nothing grows or blooms, the sun can hardly be seen or felt, and everything seems to be stuck in place; on hold.  Even as nature attempts to set the tone, one of melancholy, pensiveness, reflection, and even depressions for many, the world around us continues to turn and rapidly move.  The business of life must go on.  It is sometimes difficult to process where we fit when the natural order of things seems to communicate 'be still' when the rest of the world demands us to show up and be accountable. 

So, here is the irony in this blog.  I'm taking the time to write this just to say there's not much, or anything, to say.  Like the winter, I appear to be stuck in place; much like the view outside my window.  Maybe it's a good time to read a book; fill in my planner.  Or await the inspiration that comes with the change of the seasons. 

This Nasty Business of Forgiveness

"As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison."
— Nelson Mandela

There I sat.  My finger brushing over the mouse; 'confirm as friend or not', I think.  Facebook is such a simple thing and such a staple of our lives.  We almost see it as entertainment from a long day, chatting with friends online or checking out the latest amusing You Tube item that is sweeping the nation.  But it is almost something more substantial.  It is a community.  Or a microcosm of community as, unlike the world we inhabit, we have the individual power to decide who can enter our cyber world.  And how do we decide who enters our world?  Much has to do with what we know or knew about the person who is asking to come into our circle of friends.  Quite honestly, do we like this person?  Have they done something to us that's the deal-breaker?  Can we forgive, wipe the slate clean, and welcome that person into our world?

As I sat, milling over whether to confirm or not confirm this person as a friend, something occurred to me that I didn't like.  I was not free.  And since this was an old high school alumni that I had not seen in 20 years, I've been captive for a long time. 'I remember you.  You were a jerk to me.  Why do you want to talk to me?' Though I haven't thought about this person consistently, when the request came up, all the memories from high school flooded back.  The other thing that occurred to me was that he was actually interested in contacting an old alumni,  and probably doesn't remember the periodically antagonistic nature of our relationship that I remember.  Why would he want to?  He’s probably carried on, has a family, great career, and pretty good life, overall.  On the other hand, it’s been me whose had his head stuck in the lunchrooms and locker rooms of our old alma mater.  ‘Starting to see, though I see myself as a compassionate and sympathetic person, I am not great at forgiveness.  And not forgiving cripples the potential to grow, spiritually and emotionally.  One of my favorite movies is "Meet the Robinsons".  It circles around an inventor who is constantly inventing.  When an invention doesn't work out the way he thought it would, he either finds another use for the thing or scraps it and continues moving on.  "Keep moving forward" is his motto.  I think most of my alumni have done just that.  Why can't I? 

One of the reasons, I believe, that forgiveness is difficult for me is fear.  'What if I open myself up to that person and they are still the jerk and treat me like dirt, again?  I don't think I can deal with that', I think.  It, also, takes a certain courage to forgive.  And hope.  And faith.  Forgiving is letting the others know that you aren't going to hold the past against them, and trust that the future between you can and will be better and brighter.  Forgiving is rolling the dice sometimes.  What assurance, other than the person communicating or not communicating things will be better, do you have that it will?  It's just the hope that the worst is behind you. 

Living with bitterness is self-corroding.  You cannot be too happy for others because you still sit licking wounds from 20 or so years ago.  Sitting like a dying bird in a rusty cage, while shooting daggers out your eyes, accomplishes nothing.  It is only our fear come to fruition in fruitlessness.  Nelson Mandela stated, and I probably paraphrase here, that forgiveness isn’t for those who ‘trespass against us’, but it is for ourselves.

So, what did I do with the “friend” request?  I pressed ‘confirm as friend’.  To be honest, I’ve never commented on anything that has shown up on my newsfeed.  We’ve never used the IM / chat feature that is on Facebook to catch up.  Though I know his contact isn’t a ploy, it would be tragic to find we have nothing in common in our later years, but we still stay inventoried in our “friends” profiles.  And so we’d risk the worst of fates; being “de-friended”.  Kinda’ funny that, since I’ve been putting this together, I see his latest post.  Maybe I’ll turn a corner, stop the sophomoric passive-aggressiveness, and make a fun, light-hearted “comment”.  Maybe I’ll start ‘keep moving forward’. 

Thanks for listening and I hope this has some meaning in your own lives.  Until next time...

The "Shape" of Things to Come

If you haven't checked out "The Shape of You" by DC area artist Minh, do not wait another minute.  The blend of neo-soul, pop and electronic flavor is just the album to launch us into the fast-approaching summer.  Each song on this 10 track album is deftly produced and sung with such an in-the-moment feel that you sense as if you're present while the songs are coming to life.  The electronic-influenced first track "Let's Go" may appear incongruous on much of this laid-back pop effort, but that would be missing the point.  Minh's trick is to provide a rallying call to get you on board, and “Let’s Go” is infectious enough to get you.  He knows once you're on board, he's got you for the rest of the trip.  "Don't Keep Me Waiting" is probably the standout track for its sparseness and haunting string arrangements.  For this prolific artist / producer, I wouldn't be too quick to have Minh pigeon-holed into any particular style yet.  Listening to the skill with which each song is produced and performed, you can sense the consumate musician that this talented young artist is.  More about the other tracks, you say?  Well, you’re just going to have to check the entire album out for yourself.  If you appreciate how visceral good music can be, "The Shape of You" is truly the album for you.

For more about the album and Minh, you can visit reachminh.com or find him on REVERB NATION.  Be sure not to miss Minh at his DC-area show April 18^th at Jammin Java.